I have seen heaven, and it is good.

I took 400 pictures today. Is that a lot?

So anyway, as I said last night, I’ve been having some power issues. I slept in a bit today and tried to then find out what is wrong with my laptop’s power predicament. I realized that the problem is just that I’m an idiot: my laptop has a built in voltage converter. All I needed was a plug adapter. So I did a quick online search to locate a store which would sell the correct adapter and I was off.

I’ve made the Ile de la Cité my home away from home. Partly because I like it there for its historical significance and partly because it’s on the same metro line that my hotel’s on. It took me a while to find that particular metro stop the first time I tried to take it home. I mean, every metro stop in Paris but this one has signs near it marking its location. This one is behind a flower market with no signage until you’re standing right next to it. So I went to the Cité and proceeded to my next stop.

Also, why does the font on their signs remind me of Halloween?

The store I had to find was called BHV. As it turns out, it’s like a Wal-Mart for multi-millionaires. The store has everything, for 6x the price it should be. But it’s the only place I could reliably find the adapter I need and I am writing this post thanks to that store. The store itself is next to the Hôtel de la Ville, which is a pretty impressive building. Having achieved the only goal I had when I left to hotel this morning, I set off in search of food.

Watch out for scams outside the Hotel de la Ville

 I found food at a little bistro about a block away from Notre Dame. It was perhaps a little expensive, but the slice of pizza, cookie, and coke that I got really solved the hunger pangs I had been having since missing breakfast at the hotel this morning. The funny thing about this bistro was the decoration. Apart from all of the photos of Paris on the walls, I swear to God that the place was designed to look like a wild west saloon.

I didn’t have any real plans for the day except to see the town after dark. I looked at the Conciergerie and Sainte-Chappelle across the street, but there were long lines so I again decided to skip it. I hopped on the tour bus and decided to make it over to the Hôtel des Invalides and finally see the place from the inside.

Nope, not ostentatious at all.

 I entered from what was technically the back of the building complex, so the first thing I saw was the inside of the dome and the tomb of Napoleon. Okay, so, time for a quick history lesson! The name in English is the National Residence of the Invalids. In the 1600s Paris was overrun by old run down and maimed soldiers. Louis XIV decided that these old soldiers needed a home and built the Hotel starting in 1670. The hotel (which basically means "big house" in french) took the form of a giant complex which housed thousands of wounded soldiers as well as a large chapel. By the time of Napoleon Bonaparte, it was still in use as a residence and was one of Napoleon’s favorite places to visit. It is basically a hospital and retirement home all rolled up into one.

Nope, still not ostentatious.

 After Napoleon’s death, his cremated remains were brought back to Paris and entombed under the dome of the St.-Louis-des-Invalides. His tomb is considered the highlight of the complex.

Kind of a big sarcophagus. Think he was compensating for something?

 The other parts of the complex include museums of the army, relief maps, and contemporary history. I visited the museum of the army, and really only the parts concerning arms and armor of the middle ages. This took me 3 hours.

That's right, I've got a tank. Wanna make something of it?

 There was so much there I took almost 200 pictures and probably only photographed a tenth of what was there. The actual armory there was like a wet dream that I couldn’t actually have. Literally thousands of pieces of armor and weapons. And the door was locked to the public.

It's... just... not... fair...

I don’t usually get emotional or overwhelmed, but I am being completely serious when I say that I had tears of joy in my eyes and wobbly knees and got dizzy a few times while in that museum. There was so much cool stuff that I didn’t know what to look at. There was a spear that was also three rifles combined. Suits of armor that belonged to dozens of different kings and princes. Rapier pistols, jousting heaumes, and arbalests aplenty. Officially kid in a candy store status.

You mean I can stab him in the chest and shoot him 3 times without changing weapons? As an American that appeals to my sense of laziness and my lust for violence in equal measures!

 So finally I dragged myself out of Invalides and got on the bus, exhausted, to head back to the Ile de la Cité and head home for some rest. As I was riding the bus, they made their stop at the Louvre. I was already exhausted from the earlier museum, but decided on a whim to jump of the bus and try my luck with the Louvre. There was not really any line because it was so late in the day. The problem was that it was already 4:30 in the afternoon and the Louvre closes at 6. Make it through the largest museum in the world in under an hour and a half? Challenge accepted!

Assuming the bus can make it through the archway.

 I had to remain focused, and my first target was the Venus de Milo. I eventually found it in the hall of Greco-Roman antiquities. It was actually pretty easy to find, I rounded a corner and suddenly exclaimed “Holy shit, there she is!” which became a very common utterance during my time at the Louvre. Seriously, every great piece of artwork seems to be of women.

 After finding the Venus, I got a little lost while looking for the Winged Nike of Samothrace. You’d think that it’d be close by the Venus de Milo, you know, because they’re both Grecian antiquities. But no, the Nike is well out of the way. I ended up at one point in the Egyptian room and at another point in the medieval foundations of the Louvre. Both interesting places to be, of course, but given my limited time they weren’t the places I wanted to be. Eventually I made it to the Victory at the intersection of three hallways. It was bigger than I expected, and drew a surprisingly large crowd. I didn’t think this statue would be as well known as some of the other pieces in the museum.

 After the Nike, it was time to get down to business: The Mona Lisa (La Jocande in French). Luckily, the museum really appreciates the popularity of their centerpiece. So they made signs which point the way to it. They made the signs out of printer paper and scotch tape. I’m not kidding. Anyway, I eventually made it to the Mona Lisa, which was cool. But it was very crowded. And I wanted to go on a killing spree because everyone was taking pictures of the most treasured painting in the world using their flash bulbs. For those who don’t know, flash bulbs cause paintings to fade and become damaged over time. So to all of you morons who used flash on the Mona Lisa, you’ve helped contribute to the loss of the most famous painting of all time.

I centered that pretty damn well, huh?

 Finally, I made my way (after being lost in Spanish Renaissance Paintings) to the Italian Sculpture section. For those of you who know my taste in art, this is exactly where I wanted to be. There were so many fantastic sculptures, most of which I could describe what the subject was but couldn’t tell you the title or artist. For example, there were probably four or five separate Eros and Psyche statues, but there was only the one really famous one called Eros and Psyche by some sculptor I’ve never heard of (or at least couldn’t remember).

 So finally my camera batteries ran out and angry Frenchmen told me it was time to leave the museum, so I headed back to the hotel for some well-deserved rest. I’ve only got one more day in Paris before I leave for Pau, I wonder what will happen next.