Megadeth on loop

So I’m sitting here at the “half-way point” in my trip. Half-way is in quotes because really, I’m sitting in LAX waiting an agonizing 3 hours before I can board the agonizing 12+ hour plane ride. So really, even though I feel like I’ve come so far, I’ve really gotten nowhere.

Look Ma! No Mess!

 The day started off pretty well. I packed everything nice and neatly, ate breakfast, drove to Sacramento International, and made it through security in record time. “Really,” I thought, “That wasn’t so bad. I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about.” I ate Second Breakfast then soon after got on my first flight of the day, Southwest flight #994. I was one of the last on the plane, and the only seat I could find was an aisle seat next to another rather large man. So if I tried to sit up straight in my seat, I would be pressing against him and getting bumped by every stewardess and bathroom-bound female on the plane (Seriously, the flight is an hour and 10 minutes, why did every woman on the plane have to go to the bathroom?). So I mostly just leaned out into the aisle and dealt with the stewardesses and weak-bladdered women.

So I don't have any interesting pictures to post. Bite me.

 Apparently I haven’t flown in quite a while, because the take-off really kind of surprised me. We climbed a lot faster at a much steeper incline than I ever remember from before. I’m not a nervous flyer, really, but for a moment I really felt like my mom, just being terrified of the entire thing. I fought sleep the entire flight, and I haven’t slept in nearly 24 hours as I sit here and write this. “Why,” you ask, “would you try not to sleep on the flight?” I again direct your attention to the upcoming flight of at least 12 hours. I plan to make it to my seat and pass the hell out.

LAX has proven to be a little adventurous so far. I recovered my luggage from Southwest and set off to find the check-in desk for Air France. Now keep in mind that Air France is clumped together with Aeromexico, Air Canada, Air China, Air Italia, and even Air New Zealand. And also, you stupid LAX people, if you’re going to put a sign for Air France next to a door, make sure it’s the door to Air France! It’s really simple… just make sure that the door isn’t downstairs and a building over from the advertised check-in desk. That caused some real problems.

Security at LAX was not quite as easy as Sacramento, but I guess that was to be expected. I made it through no problem, except for idiots cutting ahead of me to go through the metal detector and get beeped. Really people? It’s a metal detector. If you have any metal on your body, it’s probably going to beep. It’s kind of self-explanatory. But really, the whole security experience reminded me of that scene in Schindler’s List where all of the Jews are being herded into lines at the work-camp in order to be separated. It was a bunch of uniformed goons pulling us in all different directions, taking our belongings from us, and berating us when we don’t know what to do. All I know is that when I went to Italy 3 years ago, none of this was really necessary to keep us safe, why is it now?

Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll be able to actually post this because my laptop doesn’t seem to like the WiFi at either airport I’ve been at today. So this might get rolled in to tomorrow’s update after I’ve already toured Paris a bit. In the meantime, I’m going crazy sitting in this airport terminal, with the slight smell of cleaning solvents wafting through the air. I’m waiting at what’s supposed to be the Air France gate, but I don’t see anything written in French around here. I see things written in Chinese, I hear announcements on the PA system in Chinese, and I hear about 4 or 5 different languages being spoken around me, but none of them are French. So I’m a little put off by that. But luckily, I have a song stuck in my head, and really, it’s quite fitting of my situation. So for my parting words, I’ll leave you with the chorus:

Á tout le monde

Á tous mes amis

Je vous aime

Je dois partir